Realising the importance of accepting today

Quarter-Life Crisis. It’s a term I hear increasingly creeping into mainstream discourse — the feeling of confusion, doubt and worry about where your life is heading in your 20s and 30s — and unfortunately, I think i’ve been having one for a while. I’m certainly writing about those themes a lot in my music and blog posts. More importantly, I definitely don’t think i’m alone in this and neither is it something that is merely confined to a specific age group. Aren’t our entire lives just one big insert age here crisis?!

It’s become almost a cliché to bemoan our generation of social media airbrushers for messing with our collective mental health, but this is something bigger than the smoothing brush or a warped arse.

In my new single As This Day Fades to Another, I sing,

“Me and my friends are pretending to be anything but lost”

Sometimes it feels like there are a set of unwritten rules we don’t often realise we are following. Anything we post on our feeds must fall into the category of keeping up the pretence that we have the life we are expected to have. We say we’re “good, thanks” to friends who ask and distract ourselves as much as possible when we are not exhausting ourselves trying to be some version of successful. We congratulate good news, then secretly spend half an hour wishing we could be someone else, questioning whether we should strive for the same thing or are lagging behind in a mythical race. Sometimes, though we may hate to admit it, we are just as motivated by one-upping people we’re not particularly keen on than we are by doing the best for ourselves.

I wrote As This Day Fades to Another when I was feeling all-consumed by this way of life. I have long since learnt (with the help of lots of therapy) that the dopamine rush of telling the world how bad you’re feeling is not worth the short-term gain and subsequent comedown, combining feelings of embarrassment, guilty and shame mixed up in a giant cocktail. I’ve learnt that such would-be posts are often much better channelled into art (or long-form essays!) scribbled in notepads or told to trusted friends and family members.

But in my exhausted brain, late one night after working all day in my regular job and most of the night on music, I wondered how everyone else was feeling. As I rushed through the city that day, trying to get things done before the end of my lunch break, I wondered about the lives of the people I passed and whether we were all trapped on the same conveyor belt. Never where we’re like to be, and working to change where we are.

Do any of us truly give ourselves the time to live in the moment? Do we sit and enjoy who we are, become content in our imperfection and find enjoyment in the journey? I certainly want to try and work on doing just that.

BRB, writing a social media post about my new quest.

As This Day Fades to Another is available to stream and download on 30th August 2019. You can follow emzae on Spotify and Apple Music to hear the latest new music.